My child Nel recently brought up an issue about her luggage. You see, when she attended her first camp, we let her use a small luggage. To make it easier for her to carry, we attached a rope to the luggage for her to pull. She was upset after camp when she said the kids laughed at her about her luggage.
The second camp she went to, she decided to use her trolley bag. Again when she came home, she said "the kids laughed again mum, coz they said this was a school bag and not a luggage." I became overwhelmed with a feeling of anger towards these children, and was just tempted to go out immediately to get her the nicest, best luggage. I was tempted to say unpleasant things about these other kids.
But instead, I sat my child down, and we talked about the hurtful feelings felt when others laugh at us. We talked about whether it is necessary to conform to others' expectations and have nice material things just to be accepted. We talked about how mean words and taunts are hurting, but we can choose to let it go, let it slide by and ignore those taunts. We talked about potential good friends, which to keep which to let go. For there are far more important things in life then how your luggage looks!
So much for my child to learn.
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......of dolphins and whales, mops and pails. Laughter and wails, little ones, great tales. Growing with Guidance. @poundthegarlic.blogspot.com
3 comments :
Oh, absolutely. This is a recurring theme when raising kids. I always tell my kids "you decide, don't let others dictate your life".
Then of course I go to extremes to drive the point home and say "so If you have Jewish friends that don't celebrate Christmas then I guess Santa doesn't need to come because they might don't agree with it". This they understand and the point is taken.
hmm very important lessons learnt indeed! you definitely did a very wonderful thing - talking to her about those deeper issues rather than just taking the easy way out and buying her new luggage, which wouldn't have addressed the problems of valuing things rather than people, the selfish and shallow taunting of others, and vain emphasis on outward conformity rather than character development. these lessons will take her far in life and are so valuable!
I hope so Sel. :)
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