5 Jan 2022





Happy New Year. December was wonderful, except for the floods that brought massive destruction affecting many that I know too. At our home, it was a restful December. I did finally take the opportunity to catch up with close friends over outings and food.  In between, we baked gingerbread cookies, watched family movies together, shared songs on spotify, played more board games, read more books, checked out different restaurants and went on short trips.
The highlight I guess, was a week's getaway to the highlands with close friends. It was lovely to get away from the city, to breathe in crispy fresh, cold air, watch the morning dew on flowers, catch beautiful sunrises and sunsets, laugh, play silly games. 




                                                        Christmas Eve dinner in the highlands






Danelle and I made these together,
she being the perfectionist arranged them neatly in rows.

Jo and I made this. She of course made the beautiful
pandas, while I have no patience with
food decoration. So the ugly pink alien
in front and all the ugly lumpy 'tang yuan'
were made by me. 


                             



Some new year goals: Take more nature photos, paint more, write music, continue to keep fit, family time and bonding. Hopefully some travel, get back to some letter writing and journaling, tidy up the garden that's become a jungle! 

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2022



                                                                
     

11 Nov 2021

Mum and dementia

Hello blog, it's been a while. My kids are grown, Nel in college and Jo has a little bit more to go before she's done with highschool. There are no more homeschooling tales to tell and there are strict restrictions on what I'm allowed to share of the teens (imposed by them) because privacy of their lives matter. I will update a little about them though in days to come, if I don't neglect this blog again after today.

Instead there are aging tales, of me trying to figure out where should life head from here and how does one deal with peri menopausal symptoms. There are also frequent thoughts on how to make the most of my time with mother as her Alzheimers disease progresses. 

Having little knowledge of the disease at first, I assumed it would merely be a gradual loss of memory, and she'd turn into a mellow little old lady, with talcum covered face, sitting in a rocking chair watching Chinese dramas peacefully. How wrong I was.

Firstly a brain scan showed dead brain matter, and I was informed by the doctor that there's no real cure, and the disease will progress, sometimes slowly, sometimes rapidly. I wasn't prepared for this, but I've read up more on it now and am learning mostly from observing mum.  Dementia affects, memory, cognitive ability, sense of time and space, and even the ability to control moods

She's now vulnerable, subject to people's stares, gossips, "advice", jokes, judgements and even deception.

Just the other day, at a restaurant, she looked at the mirror on the wall, reflecting our seated image. She asked loudly, in a child like manner, "How come you're there too? Look, I can see your back. It looks like you. How come ah?" She repeatedly asked same questions over and over to the guest seated on her right. I sensed and noticed the stares from others at the same table, people began avoiding conversations with her, answering impatiently.

Our weekly routine includes a must-stop at Mr. Diy to buy scissors and knives, a lingerie shop to buy the same rm15 bra, and a pharmacy to buy an eyebrow pencil. This is always followed by her buying her own lime flavoured ice cream at Baskin Robbins. She doesn't ask to walk into any other shops. The sales people know her now. But two weeks ago at Mr. Diy, she filled her basket with the usual, knives, scissors, flower pots, and decided to add a whole bunch of things for Christmas. We then queued to pay. When we finally got to the cashier, she looked at her basket in confusion and asked aloud, "Who put all these things in my basket? These are not mine!" Then she began unloading the basket onto the counter, slowly looking at each object one by one, deciding if she wanted them or not. The queue behind us grew, and people watched us impatiently. I admit, I was a little embarrassed and sorry too for keeping the line waiting.

Mother now wakes at odd hours. She calls at 2am, 4am, she doesn't know if she's eaten or not. She doesn't know when a day begins, and when it ends. She also gets lost easily. One time we went to her favourite Malay store to buy lunch. I gave her a tray, and told her to pick her own dishes. They say allowing her to make her own decisions is good therapy for her. So I left her for a while to pack my own lunch. I saw her ahead of me in the growing crowd of people. By the time I paid for my food, she was missing. In a panic I ran out of the shop and saw her a distance away from me. I called out loudly, "Mum! MUm!!!" She turned, stared at me for a moment, as if not recognizing me, and walked on. I called out again, "Mum!!! It's me, come back this way." After several seconds she said "Oh, and walked back to me." In her mind, she was walking to Angie's music shop. But that shop had moved away  years and years ago, and she knew that before.

Just last weekend, she and I, visited dad's favourite shop. We ordered all his favourite dishes, and then she looked at the menu and said, "I want this too," and pointed at the Hokkien mee. I asked if she was sure coz we sure had ordered plenty already. She insisted and ordered it herself. When the hokkien mee arrived, she looked at it and said, "Yuck, why order this? I hate this noodle."

I was about to explain that to the lady, when she winked at me, and whispered, "I understand. I understand."

For some reason, hearing those words nearly had me in tears. I'm not mum's full time caregiver, I see her only about 3 times in a week coz I work, and still have the teens to manage. But it's been getting increasingly difficult and frustrating. I'm able to be patient with her, but I can't stand it when others treat her or talk to her like she's senile, or when they whisper behind her back. And I also can't stand it when people give lots of unsolicited advice or pile guilt on me. "You Should's".....you should give her this, you should do this and that, "Why Didn't You's" ........
How quick are people to give advice and judge when they're not in my shoes.



Finally here's mum, standing beside a willow tree which grows by the river near a restaurant where she frequently came with dad
before his passing. Taking photo with this tree made her so happy because she said, "Taking photo here makes me think of dad. I wish I could show him this photo." Five minutes later in the car, I showed her the photo and she said, "When did I take this picture? What tree is that?"


@ MarthaJ, poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2021

17 Oct 2020

Where did time go? Much has changed. 
2020 has been a tough year. I lost my dad on the 11/1/2020 and we lost Camel our faithful dog in early October. To top that off I have frozen shoulder which is painful. 

On a more positive note, as I write, my girls are having a light hearted conversation with each other and their dad. I'm glad that the frequent, usual sibling squabbles have reduced significantly and they've become close sisters. 



We have a new adopted retriever, adopted in March. Sierra was a nervous weak puppy and refused to walk unless Camel walked with her. She's been sad since Camel died but I see her slowly recovering from that loss. As my teen told me, 'Everything that lives must die.



Slowly we continue in life, embracing new adventures, life changes. Often these days my teens counsel me too and bug me to keep fit as I continue to counsel them. 😁

I continue to give thanks for every moment shared as a family, for God's providence, for everything, especially family.


@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2020


24 Jan 2018

Mermaid Art

Jo and I painted mermaids together. She painted the little child while I painted the mum. Painting was given to a lovely lady who loves mermaids too.


A big achievement for me, to have knitted my first doll. Not perfect, and I did it without following a pattern. Was just knit along and see what happens! I'm glad it came out quite well!



@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2018

Christmas 2017

This year, we decided to attend Christmas service on the 24th so we could have a short getaway before 2018 begins. So on the 25th early morning, we drove up to Cameron Highlands and spent four lovely days at Lutheran Bungalow with WW and family.

As always we had a lovely time up there in the cool weather. Thank God for clear skies almost everyday. While kids played, we adults spent too much time eating under the gazebo in the garden!
:)




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This year Jo asked to bake a Gingerbread house again. So we did. Compare this to our house of Christmas 2012 .





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This year I decided to knit my own Christmas decoration. Bit by bit slowly over months....

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Finally...a Christmas  Improv I played on my piano.
Christmas improv


@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2018

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9 Nov 2017

Kanchanaburi

It's been many years since we've been to Thailand. Our last visit in 2011 was really memorable...especially staying in  a very remote village and visiting the wetlands in Pathalung.
This time we went because my dad requested us to come along to keep mum company while he played golf. I'm glad we went.

Never did it cross my mind to visit Kanchanaburi but there we were, on the first day taking a 2 hour train journey along the Thailand-Burma railway ( Death Railway)  from Kanchanaburi to Nam Tok. The day was hot and humid, only an old fan blowing in our carriage. We sat on wooden benches watching fields of sugar cane and tapioca, rice fields, and villages pass by. In the carriage, vendors walked by every few minutes selling banana pancakes, Thai goodies, drinks and dried produce. The train went over the bridge of River Kwai, passed many towns and finally slowed down as we rolled along the Wang Po viaduct, a long bridge that hugs a cliff on one side and the river Kwai on the other. We learnt that thousands and thousands died building this railway.



Second day we visited the Thai Burma Railway Centre and the Kanchanaburi War Cemetery
I highly recommend the Thai Burma Railway Centre. We learnt a lot of history there, and both Nel and Jo were intrigued by every picture and poster in that museum.

We also visited a waterfall at Nam Tok, and then spent two days in Bangkok where we shopped at Platinum mall, and walked a night street where Jo got her hair braided with blue and purple strands of yarn.
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Something  I posted on FB about a funny moment in Kanchanaburi...

 "We were walking on a street in Kanchanaburi when it began raining heavily. Taking shelter in a provision shop we tried to get a taxi home, but almost every public transport (truck n bike) that stopped by had wet seats. So for the sake of my mum, dear hubby went to the shop owner n asked if they could get us a cab. But unfortunately, hubby doesn't speak Thai, and the shop owner doesn't speak English at all. 

So dear husband, with big gestures said to the shop owner, "I want taxi, car...taxi...cover, no wet."
The shop owner smiled, and imitating hubby's big gestures said, "Ahh,..ok, taxi..." (motioning a big covered roof). 

A few minutes later, our COVERED taxi arrived....still a bike, but covered with plastic!! hahaha.  What a fun, cramped, bumpy ride it was, mixed with occasional splashes of water from puddles and rain!! Haha  
Our Covered taxi.  :D

Our unforgettable bumpy, very tight, splashy fun ride!

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2017


21 Sept 2017

A Day in Kuala Lumpur

Kiddos and friends spent a day in Kuala Lumpur visiting some historical places. We began the journey on LRT to Central Market, where we walked through rain to this old shop (picture below) for a bowl of beef noodles.



This bowl of noodle tasted lovely on a cold morning. It cost RM10 though!


After a hearty breakfast we made our way to Central Market. After window shopping at Central Market we made our way to the new MRT station to get to Merdeka Station. At the MRT station, someone commented, "Wow it feels like Singapore or Korea all of a sudden!" 

At the Merdeka MRT Station, the kids recited the Rukun Negara (National Principles) and we hung around a bit, enjoying the cool aircond!
  

At the MRT Merdeka Station, a photo with the late Tunku Abdul Rahman, “Bapa Kemerdekaan” (Father of Independence) and first prime minister of Malaysia.


Our next place of visit was Stadium Negara, the first indoor stadium in Malaysia, built in 1960. The guard allowed us to enter, and the children loved singing in there because of the echo and the way sound travels. Visiting the stadium brought back memories, such as the time I watched Holiday on Ice with my parents when I was probably about 10 or so.

Batik painting in the lobby of the stadium.

The children were hungry again, and after a big lunch of Nasi Kandar by the roadside near the stadium, we made our way to Masjid Jamek.


Kids at Sultan Abdul Samad Building, built in the late 19th century.

Lots of preparation going on for Malaysia's  60th birthday 
Prime Ministers of Malaysia

We ended the day with ice cream and cold drinks at 7-11, walked back to Central Market and took the LRT home. What an exciting day it was!

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2017

14 Aug 2017

~Jo bakes and crafts

You've been fattening me up with quite a few good bakes! Not good for my tummy Jo!!


Like this  super delicious Chocolate Torte that was devoured in two days...

And this beautiful cake that you baked for yourself. You had K over, and together you did the decorations together. What a beautiful cake!!! Love it that you're now independent enough to make your own!


You've also been crafty and doing a lot of art. Here's something you did for Doodle for Google. Yours wasn't selected, but I think it's still beautiful and unique. Keep going in your art, you're getting better and so good at it!

And one last picture, you asked me to purchase you a glue gun, and the first thing you made was this beautiful waterfall piece for me.

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@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2017

Camping Blue Valley Camerons

A wish come true for Jo and Nel, to camp with their Co-op friends, and WW's family. Upon a recommendation of a friend we drove to Blue Valley...to some location that's not on the map. It was basically a dead end road, at the end of a farm, and an extrance via steep stairs to a water dam and high altitude farm. Weather was cold, it rained almost non stop! (thankfully light rain), and we didn't get to see the meteor showers which was our original intention for camping. Nevertheless we enjoyed the cool weather (14C) and great company.






@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2017

9 Jul 2017

Nel- Spartan Super!



Today Nel, you conquered Spartan Super (15km, 29 obstacles)! I watched you conquer that vertical wall 
by yourself, watched you attempt the rotating bars again and again and again despite the falls. You showed great determination n perseverance. Im proud of you. 

But today you also showed yourself a super spartan because you stayed true to your word which was to stick with the slowest member (because of her injured ankle,) to make sure you all cross the finish line together. For that I'm doubly proud of you. Well done Nel!! And of course well done to your super team that trained together every week. Proud of you all!!


@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2017

19 Jun 2017

Endau Rompin again

Another beautiful trip to Endau Rompin. What makes a trip beautiful is the beautiful nature surrounding us, the sound of children's laughter and the fellowship between likeminded people.
 Jo spotted these beautiful caterpillars while on a short trek.

 While Nel was busy taking a leech off her foot, I spotted this spider going in for the kill. What great timing for some photography.

 A close up shot of the spider paralyzing and wrapping it's prey in web.

 To our joy, we managed to secure our favourite spot again, and the children as usual spent most of the 24 hours in the river or by the river, playing pretend games, building their own world with rocks and sand.

 This time WW brought PVC pipes and the fathers built a raft, which the children loved and spent hours on rowing up and down stream.

Night time is where the adults fellowship over some drinks....and we get to hear some interesting stories, while the children made their own campfire to roast marshmallows. I'm proud that the children are now able to chop their own firewood and start their own fire!!

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2017

Frasers with Co-op

We had a beautiful time in Frasers with our Co-op Members. We'd just finished studying Botany and decided to conclude the unit with a field trip'.

We hired Mr. Durai Birdman to be our guide, and had a fabulous trek with him through Hemnant trail where he pointed out interesting flora and fauna, as well as birds. We spotted at least 30 different types of birds. The trip was also interesting as we learnt about the history of Frasers, how things were during the time when British ruled, the Japanese and the Communists.

We also hiked along part of Pine Trail, but didn't finish the trek as it threatened to rain.

On a trek with Mr. Durai as our guide

Some interesting highlights were our afternoon tea at Smokehouse, a father's day sermon by WH, a Father's day presentation by the children followed by a prayer of blessing by the dads.

During rest time the kids spent most of their time playing Chor Tai Tee!! 
Overall it was a memorable trip!

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2017
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