14 May 2011

Dear Nel...(Excerpts taken from letters written to my daughter)

When my dear Nel was born, I started a diary for her. I wrote her letters now and then, for her to read one day. Here are excerpts from some of the letters I wrote to my dearest Nel.

A drawing of her
Dearest Nel.........

You were born at 8.50am by cesarean. They had tried inducing mummy but my cervix wouldn't dilate more than 1 cm, and you still hadn't engaged. Doctor said you had the cord around your neck....................................

Finally I felt a strong push on my abdomen and a tugging. Then I heard a loud beautiful wail! That was you darling, coming into the world. You had strong lungs, you were red and beautiful............................

I just fed you a while ago and burped you for the very first time. Wow, what loud burps you let out and now you're fast asleep. Just U and me. I love you sweetheart....ummmahhhhh kisses from your mummy.

27th May
Today mummy's discharged, but doctor says you've got jaundice. You have to stay 2 extra days. I'm home and missing you so much. In half hour's time daddy and I are gonna drive to see you. Can't wait to hold you and smell you. i love you...
28th May

Hi my darling sleepy head..So I'm here at the hospital to see you and guess what? You refused to wake up. :) You're so beautiful.................
(Thank you Father in Heaven, I give you praise and thanks for Nel.)

Last night I was so tired and frustrated about nursing I cried...............You refused to sleep and were wide awake for a long time.......I love holding you and carrying you and feeling your soft hair and chubby cheeks against mine. xoxo..mum.
you're an active baby, the best moments with you are always in the morning. You've added "ah-goo" to your vocab and your smile is sooo cute. :) ...........We have to be near you coz you don't sleep for long stretches, but I'm hoping you will, at least for the night. ummmahh (kisses from mummy.)

This morning you started giggling and laughing out loud! Your laughter brings so much joy to my heart and I think about you often, even when I'm at work.

dear nel..I find myself constantly thinking about you now at work and can never wait to come home. I miss you when I'm away. You've developed a really cute and infectious laughter!

21/2 (Nel aged 1 year ++)

We took you running n a big field. you were so happy, laughing always and trying to catch up with us. You sing all the time, familiar songs and songs you make up on your own. You make me smile all the time. Love you.

24/4 (Nel almost 3)

How time flies. I've no regrets giving up my full time job so I can be with you. You sing so well and are a creative dancer. I've to remind myself to worship at church instead of looking at your cute dances. ;)

30/8 (Jo's born)

Dear Nel, it's been 3 weeks since your little sis was born. All of a sudden you've changed. You've started shouting at others, crying for nothing, hitting others and I really wonder where's my little smiling Nel.......................

I hope this is a temporary phase. You were such a good companion during my pregnancy. You brought me pillows to soothe my back aches, you  gave me kisses to brighten my days, you stayed up with me nights I couldn't sleep.

 But at the moment you've changed so much. I'm sorry if I've not been so patient with you lately. I've had a Cesarean again, and Jo's nursing all the time.
I thank God you're gentle with your sister..I'll have more time for you again soon. I love you very much, and my heart aches every time you cry......

Some days your grandparents would take you home for a day or two and I'd cry and cry from missing you, for neglecting you....

 I love your sister Jo, and I love you very very much. Nothing can EVER change that. You'll always be my baby. I sign off with tears. With all my love...mummy.

My prayer is that you and Jo will really love one another, protect one another and stand up for one another, through thick and thin, no matter what.
Dear Nel...Today's the 1st time I held you in my arms like a baby all over again. Oh how you've grown. I've not held you like this in a long time coz of my c-section. you've been on a growth spurt! ;) It feels so nice to hug you and hold you close again. You responded by talking like a baby! :)


Justine said...

These are so sweet Martha. You're such a wonderful, loving mom.

Interesting that you wrote about Nel's reaction to Jo here, considering my last post about how my own daughter's been behaving lately in light of her sister's arrival. I guess rough patches can't be avoided altogether, so I will just brace myself, prepare my daughter and hope for the best. At least it's only temporary right?

gail said...

My heart is full. hugs to all of you from auntie g

michiko said...

Hi Marth,
These your precious the diary you wrote to Nel
it going to be a very importants in Nel's life
I will love to have one from my mum:-)
You are so many way a good mum.
Have a nice day,

RaeBeth said...

These are wonderful. I am sure your Nel will appreciate these. I can tell that they are written from the heart and those are the best. Have a wonderful day!

mom2kiddos said...

It's very heartwarming to read this. I wish I'd written something like that for my kids but I was never into writing and was dealing with mild postpartum. BTW Nel and I share the same birthday!

Martha J. Lee said...

thanks for the comments. I'm glad I wrote those letters, it brings back lots of memories everytime I read them. Someday very soon I'll let her read.

Martha J. Lee said...

@Justine, I remember writing this post, and then visiting your blog to find you've written on a similar issue. I pray your Little Miss will take it all ok. :)

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