21 Nov 2013

What matters most..

After a long day with my kids
I sat alone and pondered
About how the day had gone.
So much accomplished,
that my heart is still palpitating from stress..
I feel quite burnt out, and so do my kids..
But yeah, I'm proud of all things achieved today...
Or so I think.. coz my heart feels differently.

Off the top of my head today
We got to ballet at 9am sharp,
Phew, we're getting better at getting up on  time.
I  managed to get my child to understand
what 15 out of 1,555 means in terms of percentage.
I got her to understand, the difference between
a clause and a phrase, the different types of adverbs.
I got the kids to unpack and repack their entire messy drawers.
We worked on geography and history
I got them to focus and insisted that no matter what
Today's work is today's, so no matter what,
 It HAD to be done....Discipline.
I stood my ground and said,
"Work not finished, no going out."
So true to my word, at 6pm when all the kids were out
I made my kids sit down to continue with work
coz they daydreamed and played parts of the day.

Finally by nightfall, my kids finished it all,
I gave them a pat on the back and said "Well done!"
So much accomplised today, wonderful.
I gave myself a pat too.
I thought, surely, I know what's best for my kid
I'll push them in everything, coz they have potential!
A weak parent is a weak child!
Discipline is important. Never give in, push push PUSH!
One day they'll achieve great things because of me!
But again, my heart thought differently.

After all,
How had I managed to help them
achieve all these "great" things?
I used praise, bribes, rewards, stickers.
I used nagging, sometimes even shouting.
I prodded them out of daydreams,
Scolded them for slow work, pushed them because
I knew, If they could be pushed to excel
always academically, in arts and in sports;
They would surely conquer the world.
But again, my heart thought differently.

Why my heart? Why do you not agree with my thoughts?

To listen to my heart
I knew, I had to listen to my children.
So I asked them...
"What do you think will help you achieve great things?
What helps you feel like you can do anything you set your heart to?
And achieve and conquer it all?"
Their answers confirmed what I felt in my heart
and Not in my head.

My kids replied,
"I feel on  top of the world, like I can achieve ALL things...
I have a mummy who loves me the way I am.
I have the greatest daddy in the world who tells me stories.
I feel loved because you cooked my favourite spaghetti, the best in the whole world!
You gave me a hug today.
I feel important when you take time to sit with me on a sofa, snuggled, reading a favourite book.

I love it, when we get to go out for walks and look at interesting plants and bugs.
I feel loved when you play pretend with me, pirates, mermaids and all the things we could be!
I feel important, because you're here for me.
I enjoy learning because you take time to explain things I just cannot understand
and you make it fun too.
I feel loved now because you stopped to ask me how I feel,
You understand my feelings more than anyone does.
And because of all this, I feel I am important,
I feel positively happy, on  top of the world
and  I know I can accomplish ALL things because of you Mum."

Tears welled up in my eyes..
Because of your honesty child,
Because of the way you overlook all my faults
and even the way I've been grumpy.
You forgive so easily.
Surely the way I've nagged and pushed have done little
to help you feel great. In fact, I think, often it's pulled you down.
I'm thankful that despite all my faults and failures
You still love me, and think I'm the best mum in the world.
Your graciousness and forgiveness inspires me
Inspires me to improve and to be a better person.

And now I know, that to help you face that wide world one day
is not by pushing you academically/in sports or arts at the expense of US...You and I,
But instead to spend time with you, child,
in conversation
in hugs
in quality time
in understanding
in doing things together
in kind words
in kind deeds....

And all this will create a complete YOU
Who'll feel like you can achieve ALL things
and even the moon
because you feel Loved,
you feel Important.

A beautiful song: In my Daughter's Eyes.

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2013



gail said...

Oh, Martha, you have filled my heart. btw, if you want to send a garlic painting for my kitchen with your next letter.....not big! Love to all.

gail said...

What I meant is that the painting can be small.....no pressure.

martha said...

Dear G, if only you'd asked earlier, you'd have gotten it by now. :) Definitely for you, yes.

Divoo said...

What a beautiful post, Martha! Such heart-warming, loving, meaningful, and precious words these are! This post should be bookmarked and kept for regular reading... a treat for the soul it is! Love to you all!

Michiko Johnson said...

Hi Martha!
I feel quite brnut out but It was very pretly of your kids with enjoyed they'll achieve great things because of you! You managed help them I think was lovely things with all chiledren. Your are very GOOD WORM HART for childrens.
Have a good day!

Martha said...

Thank you Divoo. They were simply words from my heart, when I had time to reflect while the children were away at camp. Love to you too. :)

Martha said...

Thank dear Michi. Sometimes good warm heart, sometimes grouchy mum. haha..Good day to you too. :)

Carolyn (Lil' Dahling) said...

It's a wonder you can accomplish so many things in a day! You're a great mum, Martha. What you shared is true. A constant reminder that our kids need our time with them the most. That painting is sooo lovely! And I'm glad you like that song too..;)

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