Tower of Straws

Five doctor's appointments this week! In the mean time, it's been a long time since I've posted stuff on the children's activities. Here's something we did in August, before my surgery.

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Earlier this year, I gave Jo some toothpicks and playdough and had her make shapes. She discovered the tetrahedron's strength on her own.

This time, I gave my children and their friends a whole bunch of straws. Their goal was to build a high tower, that would be able to support a bag of beans. The first group, comprising of younger friends, built a really tall, wobbly tower, (which I called the tower of goo.) :)   The tower which was taller than 4 feet, stood for a while, and then twisted and folded like jelly. But they had lotsa fun building it.

The second group, had to build a tower, while taking note of length of straws (especially when cutting), stability, and I wanted them to incorporate the tetrahedron shape. They weren't too meticulous and the mums came in last minute to help even out lopsided sections. (And the mums had fun doing it too. :)  )

Building the base of the tower.

Tower getting taller (and really didn't get very tall at all). Lots of red tape, I think the children rather enjoyed the process of taping more than measuring!

Finally, the tower that started off well, began to become lopsided when they lost focus. However, it managed to withstand the bag of beans (in plastic bag on the top right corner),  for a total of 19 seconds, 1 second shot of the 20 second goal!! .:)

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During the weeks where my constant headache started, it was public hols, and so I kept the headaches to myself and continued activities as usual. One of those days, we went for a picnic at the Templers waterfall. It was great fun.

 Going behind the falls

Climbing slippery rocks carefully,  and just enjoying the cold cold water.

 A pretty damselfly dropped by

 Lots of fun just watching children build castles, catching tadpoles, collecting rocks,  shooting waterguns and just having fun. :)
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The trek to the falls though was heavily guarded by leeches! The brave children made it. :)
 A group of strangers who wanted to trek in with us (1 hour ++trek), freaked out when one of the teen girls got bitten. They screamed, jumped and ran off still screaming despite us shouting "Come back, come back!"  (and they didn't even look back or say thank you or goodbye, it was really like a comedy! :D) 
 So that left the falls entirely to ourselves.  (wink) Lovely. :)

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Home sweet Home..My piano

After recuperating at my mum's, I decided I'm finally ready to head home. It's a wonderful feeling to be home again. :)  I'm truly thankful, that my parents graciously and lovingly took care of me in the post op days. My heart is filled with gratitude, for all that they've done.

Post op there are still weird symptoms, like last night, I woke up with the walls spinning and a weird burning sensation in my head. I won't bother with all these crazy symptoms, but reading a pituitary operation forum I chanced upon, I know each person will recover in their own way, in their own time. I also got a second opinion from a different ENT, Doctor Ng Kee Sang in Klang, and he said, it was too risky to undergo another surgery right now for sinuses. I've just been given more medication, but I trust this doctor.

Anyway, first thing on coming home, I took in the familiar smells, hugged my ecstatic poodle, peeped in to check on my mice (female is pregnant!) and jumped into bed and hugged my familiar pillow, opened the windows and took in the refreshing scent of my teeny garden. Ahh...sooo good. :)

Next...I headed.to my beautiful piano that I've missed so deeply. Before my op, I played and sang some random heartfelt songs on my piano, which I recorded on my handphone. And these songs brought me through the op. As I listened to them again recently, I could hear cracking in my voice at some points, showing the tears and fear at that time. But all that is over now. I'm thankful to God.

I'm rambling, but I just got back to my piano, which is an extension of my voice and soul, and just played, and thanked God in all. Anyway, here's just a very short (not so good quality)  recording of the song "Give Thanks" I just did.



Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son

And now let the weak say, "I am strong"
Let the poor say, "I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us"

Give Thanks...

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just briefly jotting thoughts down. Headaches still persist, usually on upper left of head, worse in mornings. Pain near left ear, and behind the head. Sinuses still clogged.
 Also taking a variety of meds- decongestants, antibiotics, medication for heart palpitations, and meds for headaches. I think this combination is causing the abdominal pain i feel on the lower right (similar to the one I felt after my C-section op.) I did go do a scope on this before, but all they could say was IBS.

As I watched travel channel on TV today, I really really craved to be outdoors again, craved to be free. I'm just longing to be able to do anything I want without worries or nagging pains that creep up here and there. I'm really craving for this. And so I'll have to keep pressing in through prayer especially, trusting God that the healing will be complete so that my Joy may be complete. In the mean time, I give thanks because blood test results have come back, and I no longer have to take my hormone pills. :)

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Schooling when I was down

(apologies to those who commented or shared this post earlier. I accidentally deleted it, and here it's reposting. Thus those who kindly shared this post earlier will find the link invalid, and all comments gone. :(  )

Just found out post pituitary op that I have major sinus infections. ENT recommends another surgery but at the mention of the word "surgery" after my recent brain op I felt like fainting. No..no more needles for a while, there is a limit as to what I can handle. Thankfully he said I could try medication and antibiotics first to see if it will help alleviate the headaches. My reason for writing...is to tell of what happened to my children through all this.

I was fortunate that my parents were willing to take care of my children. Mum went and bought all sorts of  workbooks.  When I came back, I found my 7 year old working excitingly on std 3 science books (with ease too), grammar grade 4, ahead of her level, and on maths rather unwillingly and grumpily. :) My older girl,  already an independent learner just worked by herself mostly, only dreading writing skills. Most of all, my mother has been training them, so that they make their beds first thing in the morning, keep the house tidy, wash, dry and fold their own clothes etc etc etc. And I've  found them to be so much more matured  and disciplined in household matters now. :)

They learned sewing and craft from my mum, Nel even picked up the basics of crochet! Also in just 2 weeks, my older girl has come close to beating me in chess, which she picked up from my dad. (Note, I'm rather pathetic in chess, plus I feel tired off and on.) Still it's amazing she picked up so much chess from my dad in just 2 weeks. Apparently the deal was to play a minimum of one game a day. :)

And then spiritually my kids grew up overnight. I know that daily, when I was in hospital, they prayed and prayed and trusted God that their mama would come home well. I received cards from my girls with messages like "We will never be apart, God will heal you, and I will take care of you." And now I'm home, without fail, my girls come into my room every night, put their hands on my head and pray for me. Just last night, Jo prayed "God I pray you heal the damage that's been done, close the wounds, remove the headaches." And Nel prayed "God help me and Jo not to fight so much so we won't trouble our mummy with extra headaches." :)  So much growth in just 2 weeks.

Because of my headaches I don't school them much yet, except for random art. But I'm healing. In conclusion, it has been a real time of learning for me and my family. I'm proud that my children were able to school themselves independently when I couldn't, and for supportive parents who helped them become even more independent. There is a reason for everything that happens. Anyway, yeah, praise God in all things.

p.s forgive any spelling, grammar mistakes or sloppy writing. Have not yet tested if they accidentally removed any important cells during brain surgery. (kidding :))

(pss.. apparently they enjoyed being schooled at my mum's because there was a promise of TV everyday at 3pm! while at our home, TV is only allowed during weekends! haha...)


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The Other Side

I'm feeling better today. For the first time today , the sharp pain in my head each morning is diminishing. It's there but not as severe as the days before. :)

While in the ICU, I had strange dreams and I drew pictures in a sketch book. The nurses were often drawn to my sketches and I wish I could share them with you now, but not yet. Takes time to load and all. Will do soon. In the mean time, here's something I wrote in my diary on the 18th of Sept while in ICU.

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(Abstract from Diary 18th Sept 2012)

My life was on a train that went round in circles, mindless circles. Somehow, one day on a journey, I got pushed out. It was a period of wilderness, worrying, searching, finding.

Then somehow in that wilderness, like a gumball in a machine full of gumballs, I was squished, shaken, pushed through,.... plopping out through a tiny hole.

That's when I found myself on the other side of the world.

 I still see the train, I see people in it who are like who I was. But I see them with a whole new set of eyes. It is strange, but I'm on the other side now and I no longer think the same as before.

For the moment it is my time of healing.  When I'm done, I will look out for those who've been pushed off the train like me, to lend them a helping hand, and  help them realize that they can make it. They can come out whole on the other side.

 And then like me, their views of the world will no longer remain the same.

martha@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2012

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Mama's Home

I am blessed because for the duration I was away in hospital 14 days in total, my mum, dad, husband and sis in law took turns looking after my precious girls.

While I was in ICU, I know Jo (the younger) cried coz she desperately wanted to see me but wasn't allowed to do so. She confessed today to me "Mum, I called the hospital and nurse  big, fat and lousy people." I had to talk to her about how it really was the opposite coz they helped me get well. So in return both girls have made thank you cards for the nurses in the hospitals. :)

Oh Jo and Nel..well...mama's home now. I still have weird pains in my head, which I pray daily will fade. We're catching up now on stories and hugs and cuddles. :) 

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I'm grateful to the following team of doctors who saw me  through it all..
Neurosurgeon - Dr. Muruga Kumar
Cardiologist- Dato' Setia Dr. Hj. Anuar Masduki
 Endocrinologist - Dr. Chan Siew Pheng
Anesthesiologist- Dr. Hari Krishnan
ENT-Dr. Ng Kee Sang (Klang)

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post Op.

the operation to remove the tumor from my pituitary gland would be done transsphenoidal. It started at about 830am, and I came out at 1:30 something in the noon. It went well. Will recount event later in time when I feel better. Tumor totally removed. However, 1 week post op I experienced Hyponatremia . The experience was very scary. You can click on link to read, but here were the symptoms I experienced:

Sudden  swelling in hands, inability to focus on anything, numbness and cramps in body, and as the day went on, I lost senses of my body, feeling like I was walking on space and no longer on my legs. Voices seem to come from a distance and I couldn't reply to questions. Extreme headaches, chills, sweaty hands, and palpitations. It came to a point where I thought I would pass out or die. That's when I ended up in the ICU. My sodium dropped to a critical level of 114.

Was in CCU  (as my heartbeat went crazy too)  for 4 days, then 2 days in ordinary ward and finally today I'm discharged. :) i wouldn't say I feel normal yet. each time I get from lying down to sitting up, there is a weird pain in the left side of my head. I'm praying this will heal on its own. Praise God for seeing me through the whole op.  :)

p.s There was yet another assurance of God's love. After I was discharged from CCU, I was sent to the ordinary cardiac ward for another 2 days of observation (all in all about 12 blood tests in total). The morning when I looked out of my hospital room window, I saw a pair of Scaly Breasted Munia birds. They had built a nest right outside my window. They kept me company and reminded me of His love.

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Check In

Today is the day of check in for my op.  A word that's been coming over and over again to me is the word  JOY. Particularly the Joy of the Lord.

 As I did my devotion yesterday, the verse that popped up was Proverbs 17:22 - "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."    I knew it was for me, because for months now, I've often felt sorrowful for no reason, often asking questions regarding the reason for living.  This is not something I've ever talked about, for I was afraid to let others see my inner thoughts. In my personal journals, I've written things like "I'm hiding in the corners of the earth, Lord, you're calling me, but I've gone too far, too far off."  And last month a friend called to visit, spoke to me, encouraged me, and I told her "You know, the point where you're at your lowest, and you don't know where else to go anymore? I am there now."

Then, what do you know, when the headaches started 2 weeks ago, and the docs told me I had haemorrhage of pituitary macroademona it brought me to a new place of questioning and seeking. I've come to the conclusion, that perhaps this whole thing is a little like the story of Jonah and the Whale. The storm in my situation was the MRI that told me of that tumor. The Whale is the delay before the time of operation. The delay happened because through prayers the headaches and vomiting subsided.

 In this "Whale" I began to find the Lord again. Dealing with many issues. And I came back to the word Joy. Isaiah 55:12 - 13 You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed." Despite all I've been doing, the Joy of the Lord had not been present in my life. And now, I've been praying that God give me JOY which comes from Him alone. I'm praying for new vision, new calling and rejuvenated strength to serve Him in a meaningful way.

Continuing on the word Joy, both my daughter's devotion book yesterday talked of the same thing, JOY.  What a surprise it was that when I went downstairs and found that they had created a very pretty hanging mobile with the alphabets JOY  and LOVE .

 I was deeply encouraged, and I'm also deeply convicted that I must share this with my children. For what is the point of homeschooling or parenting if I do it mechanically. Rather, I must teach them about strength that comes from Joy. For that is strength which will carry them through seasons in their own lives. I'm really convicted, and may God grant me ways to overcome myself that I may share God's Joy with them.
Finally, friends who visited and messaged, carried the same message. I know, God has intervened at that lowest point of my life. I may have hidden it all deep within, silently. but God chose to bring me out, that I may serve Him with new strength, purpose and Joy.
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In my garden today...........there were so many beautiful mushrooms...

The Olive backed Sunbird that visited yesterday dropped by again today. And a pair of tailorbirds that built a nest in my garden a few months ago are back. So many visitors indeed. :)

Finally, a song that's been in my mind, Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures here below, Praise Him  ye heavenly host; Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

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Another visitor

As I await for the insurance to confirm payment for my surgery (read last post), I vacillate between feeling totally confident and feeling fear in my heart. It's strange. I guess, googling too much is not good for there is a lot of bad news, and negative feedback about surgeries gone wrong.

There's one thing I've learnt, you can never understand the feelings of someone going through such a situation till you've been in it yourself. The fear is unimaginable, the crying, the surge of strength, the faith, the confusion, the thousands of emotions and  thoughts that flood the mind.

Anyway, while doing my devotion today, the chapter talked on joy. What brings joy. I thought of nature, the things God brought to my garden during that day of confusion that gave me joy. Well, the dragonfly has flown off, and I know it has to in order to find its mate, to continue its generation.

 But I had a new visitor this morning. It made such a ruckus outside my window. I ignored it at first, but it continued impatiently, noisily, distractingly. I looked out, and saw this male Olive Sunbird, enjoying a delicious drink of nectar from my wild banana plant. Alas when I got my camera, I only managed this blur shot, and then it was gone. I guess, God's way of cheering me up. :)

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A time of Inner Contemplation

I awoke last Tues, with a strange ringing in my ear. The buzz was so loud it felt like there was an air-cond in my ear. Later when my child spoke, I heard two distinct pitches in my left ear, her voice came out (if you understand music) in two tones, perfect fourth apart. I panicked. I switched on some music, and realised that the left ear could not detect higher notes, while the right could.

Panic set in, and the following day headaches started. As a musician, my ears are precious, I drove to the ENT, where they found nothing wrong with my ear but cautioned that if the buzzing continued, I could loose my hearing partially. I became depressed.

As the headaches continued, it came with nausea, a sense of imbalance, sensitivity to sounds and light. Because I felt the pain down my neck, I went to see a spinal surgeon who got me to do an MRI. I thank God that incidentally the found the enlarged pituitary gland. From then I was asked to see a neurosurgeon, followed by another MRI of the brain.

What they found was a Pituitary Macroadenoma in my gland which had haemorrhaged. Being one who is "afraid" of doctors and procedures, that shook my world. I went between depression and extreme fear to eventually increased in faith as many wonderful friends came my way and started praying for me.

My dear husband took days off for work to sit with me as I went through a series of tests. On one of those long days, when he had to get back to work, a dear friend Dr. Chan, insisted she went with me to the hospital despite multiple protests from me. I was strengthened by her faith, her prayers and encouragement. I thank God for these angels and sms's that have strengthened me. (You know who you are.)

I Praise God that because of the prayers, the headaches have subsided. I quote the Endocrinologist "I'm surprised that in your state, that you're not in more pain." Truly, it is God in control of me. I also praise God, as doctors have stated another 1mm of swelling could have caused me vision loss. Thank God for protecting my precious eyes.

So many thoughts have gone through my head in just this one week. It has opened my eyes and heart in a way I cannot describe. from the way I look at life, my priorities, my relationship and faith in God, my relationship with my children and husband, my friends around me. As these thoughts come, I've been journaling them in a book I keep as I read the BIble.

Well...another thing is Praise God, my blood tests have come back normal, and I will meet the neurosurgeon tomorrow. Both he and the endocrinologist have said it's best to take the tumor out to prevent risk of a second hemorrhage. I know it is a delicate operation, and they've told me, will take about 3 hours. I'm praying that it will go well, that none of the precious cells around it will be sacrificed in the process. Sure many have gone through it, but to go through it myself, is different and I understand now the fear people have been through in such a situation. Above all I know God is in control, from the way He helped me to trace the source of headaches to this point. He is my refuge and strength.

Finally, as I struggled to distract my own thoughts, I sought my camera and went out to my tiny garden.

 I saw this new shoot growing, and it promised me, new life. As a dear friend prayed for me yesterday, she said "Sometimes, God prunes, and He cuts off much, till we're almost bare, but that is so the best shoots may come forth."

Then next to it, growing on  roots were these mushrooms that grew so peacefully.

Finally, still a little troubled, I heard a voice saying, "Look up Martha, the dragonflies that have come and gone from your Kedondong tree are back. I looked up, and true enough, there it was, sitting on top of the branch, displaying its beautiful wings. It's meaningful to me, as this dragonfly that's back today, has been gone for some time. It's morphed and now an adult. It shows how in shading of it's old skin, it has become bigger, stronger, more powerful.

Here it almost seems as if it's looking at me doesn't it.

In all things, I give thanks coz I know, God my maker, holds my life in His hands, and He is watching over me.

martha@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2012

Lessons learnt from A burden of a bag

Yesterday after work, I decided to park my car at home, and walk to my sis's house to pick up my children. Instead of just 2, 4 kids asked to come home with me, and I said "ok." :) After a short walk, Jo said "Mum, please hold my pencil and paper" and skipped down the street to join her cousins who were far ahead already. Nel just walked slowly beside me, burdened by her bag of books.

My mind began to wonder, thinking of all the many children who are daily burdened by never ending homework, tuition classes (some up to 3 extra tuition a day!), extra curricular activities, compulsory stay backs in schools, never ending exams. (I'm thankful I've chosen not to put my children through this sort of life.)

As I continued dreaming, feeling for those kids, Nel trudged on silently, never once asking me to hold her bag. I snapped out of my thoughts and said "Nel, would you like me to hold your bag, so you can go catch up?" A smile lit up on her face and she replied "Really mum? Thanks, and I'll take Camel the dog." So off they went, Nel and her pooch bounding down the pavement in large strides to catch up with the wild kids who were giggling and laughing loudly some distance away.

I guess, sometimes when a child is older, they may keep thoughts to themselves, they've learned they must handle responsibilities, to do whatever they can by themselves. It's nice some times if we parents can learn to imagine what they might be thinking, and sometimes make conscious effort to "alleviate" that burden, that they may be free as children. :)

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Road Trip Johor- Some other places

This is the 3rd post on our recent road trip. Move one post back to read about our search for Seahorses in the Pulai Estuary, and 2 posts back for our visit to Noah's Ark.

This will be a very short post on some other places we visited.

1) Tanjung Piai.  There's an entrance fee of 5Rm for adults and 3RM for children. Basically it is a large mangrove area, which we found fascinating. Tg Piai also marks the lowest point on the continent of Asia. 

We were first greeted by these 2 beautiful, shy, Dusky leaf monkeys who were really curious about us. They kept clambering up to peek at us, at times stopping to play with our National flag. :)

Be careful, as this place is full of macaques! So if visiting, Do not bring food! They will come right at you! Trust me on this.Saw this mama with her baby. Precious!

As we walked the boardwalks we were fascinated by the diversity of life here. A large variety of mangrove plants, shells, fiddler and tree crabs, lots of mating horseshoe crabs, super huge monitor lizards, snakes and birds. Go have a look at it yourself. We spent a long time just watching, fascinated :) !

At the end of our long walk, we arrived at the southern most tip. The first thing the kids did was to climb right into that globe! My handphone started beeping too, welcoming me to Indonesia, providing  me cheaper sms from Indon to Malaysia! :)
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2) We also dropped by Kukup, where we were shocked by the CUT-THROAT prices of seafood! Do ask for prices before you order crabs and fish.

 Well after lunch, we found a boat men who charged us RM60perboat for a ride including several stops. He dropped us on the island of Kukup, but sadly the observation tower and a large part of the island is under renovation. Many broken boards. They gave us a discount on the tickets. The island is nice for bird watching. We spotted Herons, curlews, kingfishers and Brahminy Kites. I'm sure if we stayed longer we'd seen more, but the mosquitoes on this island are very hungry, crazy type who will pierce through your skin, through insect repellant!

So after our brief tour on the island, the boat man took us to a floating fish farm. The children loved this. He showed us the Puffer Fish (which he shook till it got angry and showed its spikes!). The children also got to feel a jelly fish, which  they say doesn't feel like jelly, but a rough surface.

And then, on the bottom right, is the amazing spitting fish (as I call it.) Put an anchovies on a piece of wood, and it will shoot down it down with water very accurately! I'm amazed. The children tried holding the anchovies, but the smart fish would not shoot, unless food was placed on the wood. At one point some of the children, refusing to let go of the anchovies, got shot by strong spitting water, right in the face! Ptuiiii!!! haha...:)
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3) We visited Pak Hussein, who hails from Singapore, but lives in Johor. He makes amazing Jong, which is the long boat he's holding. It actually comes with a sail, but in the pictures below, sail wasn't attached. The Jong is used in competition, usually held in August, but this month it is delayed coz of the Raya festival. To help the boat balance, a piece of  curved wood with a mini boat at the end, is attached to the main boat. Mr. Hussein also makes congkaks, which are in the shape of a jong. This is made of pure wood (he said chempedak/nangka tree wood), and is very heavy! 

Pak Hussein's family also makes Dodol. The one seen below is coconut dodol, basically made of coconut, palm sugar and glutinous flour. It's then wrapped in Pinang leaves.

Picture above are us digging into the dodol, the wok used in dodol making, pinang leaves drying, and of course, children playing Jenga with a stack of dodols. haha..
En. Hussein can be contacted at 0167665253.

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4) A short drive from En. Hussein's place is a   small factory that produces famous keropok lekor. They were very friendly, and generous in sharing knowledge with us. We got to try some of their very delicious fried keropok, and of course we bought some too. :)

Ingredients are mixed (note chilli included), fish added and then placed in machine which grinds it to a dough like texture. This dough is fed into a machine, which presses it into strips which are deep fried in oil. The oil used here is clean, as the lady told us, they change the oil daily. This factory and En. Hussein's place are located in the Gelang Patah area.

We wanted to pop by a gasing (top) maker's house too, but learned he passed away recently.

Ok, that concludes my journal on our recent road trip. :)

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