Being with my children almost 24/7,  sometimes changes they're going through creep up on me without me noticing. Makes sense?

Talking bout child no. 2 here, and since they now read my blog, I won't go into specific details...

Anyways, ..one night, before bed, No.2 asked, "Mum, may I have a counselling session with you? Just 15 minutes. Private, ALONE, just you and me. I'll pay you whatever your therapy fees is...with chores or a few ringgit."

I'd never expected that...coz Nel now a teen, never asked for that, although we've had random heart to heart moments when a situation prompted one and provided an opening for such a conversation. But here, my second child was requesting for one.

I began thinking back and realize that little and major changes had been happening in her character. I won't go into details, but if you have a preteen/teen, you'd know about all the changes that happen emotionally, mentally and physically.

To ease her worries and assure her, so she'd be able to sleep soundly, I took out my calendar, penned down in red, "Appointment with Jo, 9pm, by library's quiet corner." She clapped her hands in excitement and went to bed with a smile on her face.

We met in our little space the next day as planned. I, a little worried, wondering what serious matter she was going to bring up. Turns up they weren't such serious matters, but a lot of questions  and reflection about self and others. She brought up issues about self expectations, her self image, her perception of how others viewed her and expected of her...demands of life, purpose of life...emotions...reactions etc etc etc. 15 minutes turned to an hour...with me discovering so much about my girl.

During the course of our conversation, I used a diagram my counselor used with me, when I went through a bout of anxiety disorder last year. Only I modified it to fit our conversation.

In a gist, the picture is of an iceberg. The top which is seen by others, is the image we choose to carry when we're with others. It's about our roles in various public settings, expectations of others, public image, how we're expected to act or react etc.

The bottom part of the iceberg is hidden by the ocean. That's where our real self lies. The unheard thoughts, buried emotions, desires, inner conflicts, etc etc etc.

I listened to how conflicts between her public self and what she defined as "real self" disturbed her sometimes. About her effort to be the ideal person...yet her disappointment when she fails. Her self expectation to be different personalities with different friends in order to fit in, to be liked. When friendships change.... etc etc.

We talked about emotions. is it ok to get angry and upset? Is it ok to feel negative emotions? When do we express them, when do we have to hold them in?  The meaning of true friends. Is it ok to express one's true self? Rejection of friends when she wasn't able to fit that expected mold. The purpose of education, the purpose of life.

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2016

Homeschoolers Unite at Tribe Fest and Lembah Barakah

Jo and friend ZH wanted to present a short drama for a HS Tribe FEST. So together they recruited a few friends and in 5 weeks prepared a short skit to present. They called themselves, "Homeschoolers Unite." Jo wrote the script without my help. Then every Wednesday, 8 of them would meet at a friend's apartment lobby. They didn't want the help of adults, so we mums would sit far away and eaves drop now and then.

Despite quarrels, disagreements, play, chit-chats, jokes and moments of unfocused wondering, they managed to discuss and rehearse the script, create their own props, chair their own meetings, block their play and all. It wasn't always smooth going, sometimes they had major disagreements on certain things....but in the end, they performed so well to a wonderful crowd! I'm really proud of them!

This to me is a well worth-it experience. It's nice to see how they resolved problems and disagreements without adult intervention, made decisions that they were proud of and came up with the concept, theme and everything by themselves. Because they totally owned the production they were really proud of their work! There were moments I was tempted to provide input, but I'm glad I held back. Though the final performance was great, I think, greater was the experience  they took with them throughout the process.

(Smiley added to protect identity of child.) 

To reward their hard work, we took a two day break at Lembah Barakah, Ulu Langat. Though we mums were tired, the energetic children cooked their own dinner, and had a crazy fun time together. Night time, 16 of us slept, aligned like sardines, in the beautiful kampung house we rented. They had a midnight feast, and the chattering and whispering did not stop till after midnight. They certainly deserved this getaway together!

 On the second morning, a cold one! brrrr...., we had a brief tour of their place and had an interesting session on kelulut bees (stingless bees.) It was interesting to view the structure of the hive, and the highlight was when the owner removed a tiny portion from a honey pod and put in a syringe to draw liquid gold. The honey tasted like a mix of honey sweetness and apple cider vinegar. Delicious!  Then some of the kids jumped into the river for a quick dip while the rest played cards.
To rent this lovely kampung house, message them via their FB page at Lembah Barakah Organic Orchard .

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2016
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Scout CAmp

We had a nice three day camp with the HS Scout Group. This time the venue was a private cove in PD.

Setting up tents

First things first...digging a toilet. The girls did a good job, digging it about 3 feet deep, but a little too wide for the littlest scout girl. :/

Nel helping Scout Master Quek to set up the Tarp 

The girls' friend, ZE made this cute cute sign! :)

Loving the activity of digging, Nel decided to dig further. During the point of this photo, the hole was about 4 feet deep. She eventually dug it to about 5 feet, and found a source of fresh water!

During this camping trip, scouts had to chop their own bamboo, and find random pieces of wood. Then attaching used bottles, they made their own rafts.

Testing raft time. All the rafts floated well!

This is one of several shots taken after a day of work. Girl scouts playing while it was the boys' turn to cook dinner. This photo makes me happy. Perhaps it's capturing joy and carefree moments that makes the photo beautiful.

Enjoying some quiet time while having dinner by the gentle waves.

Though it was supposed to be two nights on the beach, we had to abandon campsite on the second night. Strong winds hit us on the second night, snapping my tent poles in two. Embers from the large bornfire blew towards our tents threatening to set them aflame. Some of the children panicked and about two had panic attacks...and it was truly a state of emergency when we evacuated the beach.

It reminded me of the scary experience we had camping on Segadas when storm and lightning demolished our friend's tent and flooded ours, while we literally fought against the wind with our hands so the tent wouldn't cave in on our children. But I told myself despite the panic that hit me, I had to remain calm for my children. So thank God, He gave me strength as I calmly gave instructions to my children to load our belongings and calmly unpeg our very large tent to evacuate.

We all ended up taking refuge in YL's house in PD...20 + of us. It was a "refugee"moment. :) But oh what a memorable trip! :D

@poundthegarlic.blogspot.com 2016

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